Confidence
by bagofpopcorn
Summary: "Confidence is sexy, cause it means that you're sure of yourself, and what you want and what you're going to do. And that's sexy. Being paper thin can only take you so far, but confidence..?" Rather for one or two cusses/swears.


A/N: This is an idea that struck me in the middle of the night. Not sure what to make of it though. (It is an idea born in the middle of the night after all; My brain is in it's own creativeness at that time. Fun times, fun times.) n_n

Also, I apologize ( a lot) for my horrid grammar. English isn't my first language. Please do feel free to correct me. (No need to go grammar-nazi on my case and reading til your eyes bleed, but if you do happen to find anything that sticks out like a carrot in a heap of cereals.. Yeah.)

Enjoy.

Linebreak of epic proportions. Wah, wah, wah.

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Lauren hadn't always been confident and sure of herself. She had been just as insecure about herself as any other girl who fell out of the "this is what a girl should look like" category. She had longed to fit in, and had done about everything possible to do so. But fitting in isn't easy, something she learned soon enough, several futile attempts at dieting behind her. The south beach diet, calorie restriction, , G.I... She even tried that detox stuff, with no prevail.

(The only things gained from the diets had been a foul mood and an upset stomach, not to mention proof that she did, in fact, feel better if she had chocolate during her periods.)

She had been ready to pack her stuff and high-tail over to Mexico for that bypass thing. Her brother and their cousin (obnoxious prick) were going over there for Spring Break anyway, and they didn't mind her tagging along. (Or rather, her cousin did, but it was her brother's car so he just had to suck it up.) The operation itself didn't cost that much, and the scar would be gone by the time she dared to show off in clothes revealing more than they concealed.

Her brother had pulled her aside for a bro to sis talk (subtly concealed as a car wash help), in which he had asked for her intentions. It wasn't that he minded the whole "cut yourself open" part. He didn't agree with it, but if Lauren felt like she needed to have scalpels poking around in her insides, then so be it. He was just curious as to why, being ever the curious one.

Lauren had kept quite at first, feigning concentration. They had nearly been done with the wash, and her brother had been ready to give up and accept defeat when Lauren, softly, had answered.

"I just want to fit in."

He hadn't understood, and he said as such. Why fit in when you can be outside of the box and shine? Wasn't that cooler, all things considered? Like a diamond in the middle of a coal field. He himself stuck out like a sore thumb. Lauren had shrugged at that, not quite sure how to formulate her words.

"I.. I want to have.. I want to have a boyfriend. Or no.." She had stopped there, her look going glazed as she had pondered on how to continue.."I want people to look at me and like me and.. and talk to me, and look at me like I'm a fat chick. I know I'm a fat chick, but do they have to treat me like one? I mean, I want to be.. No, I want to have what the other girls want. I want to be someone. Just that. So I have to lose weight for that, cause.. Cause.."

Lauren had trailed off there, not sure anymore. Like most thoughts, that hadn't been good spoken aloud, rather stupid. Considering the fact that her brother had stared at her like he hadn't know her was a sure sign that it had been stupid. He had stared at her long enough for her to start fidgeting around before he spoke.

"Laurl, you.. You don't need to lose weight to be somebody. Look, you.."

He had sighed then, just to laugh a second later. "Look, me and the sack of potatoes are going to Mexico to drink and pick up girls, and even if it shames me to admit it, he'll be the one to score the most, despite the fact that he's a pain in the behind. And do you know why?"

Lauren's head had shook at that. No, she hadn't known why. Why anyone would willingly want to sit in the same room as her cousin, let alone score with him, was beyond her understanding.

"It's because he has confidence. Yeah, he's below average and sweats more than a truck-driver, but he acts as if that's the most natural and epic thing in the world. He doesn't take shit, and just like the jocks and cheerios flaunt their attributes, he flaunts what he has. And you know what? It works. Confidence is sexy, cause it means that you're sure of yourself, and what you want and what you're going to do. And that's sexy. Being paper thin can only take you so far, but confidence..?"

His words had trailed off in a chuckle, as if laughing at a memory.

Lauren had been too shocked to say something. Something inside of her had snapped at that.

_Confidence. _

Was it really that simple? Thinking about it, she had never, or seldom, seen her moron of a cousin single. Sure, the cheerios weren't single, but that was mainly because it was some sort of a status to be together with a cheerio. There were plenty of pretty girls in school but they were single cause..

Cause they retreated into their corners in fear and shyness when a guy spoke to them.

Maybe confidence was the only thing she needed?

"Sure you still want to come along?"

Lauren had shook her head again, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Nah.. I think I'll pass.. Next time?"

"Sure, sis, sure.."

Needles to say, case closed.

Lauren thought about that conversation sometimes. She especially thought about that conversation whenever Puckerman turned his Puckzilla charm on her. He could have anyone. Hell, he had probably had _everyone. _And yet, there he was, going googoo over Lauren like a puppy despite her sometimes less than eager responses.

Confidence - 1. Rearranging yourself to fit in - 0.


End file.
